Season 02 Episode 03 (#13)
Fatherhood as Leadership, a Conversation with Ryan North (#40) – Connected Parenting Minute
- Fatherhood as Leadership, a Conversation with Ryan North (#40)
- Navigating Holidays: Expectations vs. Reality – (RE-RELEASE) (#39)
- Navigating Relationships: The Value of Community in Parenting – (#38)
- Road Trip Reflections: Embracing Change and Connection in Parenting – (#37)
- Boundaries in Parenting – An Interview with Ryan North (#36)
Emotions hijack logic, making it hard to respond well in heated parenting moments. In this episode, Will and CarrieAnn Standfest discuss the concept of “Scripting our Response.” When we as parents practice empathetic phrases, we can avoid knee-jerk reactions when tensions run high. As a parent, you get to decide how you react in a stressful situation, so make a plan to respond in a way you are proud of later.
Enter the Coffee Giveaway!
Season 2 Episode 3 of the Connected Parenting Minute Podcast
For more content:
Website: https://connectedparentingminute.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ConnectedParentingMinute
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/connected.parenting.minute/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ConnectedParentingMinute
Email: ConnectedParentingMinute@gmail.com
Music by https://lesfm.net/
📋 Episode Chapters
(00:00) Connected Parenting Minute is a conversation about parenting using connection first trauma informed principles
(00:58) Tonight we discuss the concept of scripting your response in parenting
(06:06) When we script our response, it helps us in stressful situations
(07:02) Using this tool can be a helpful parenting tool. Naming it and saying, this can be
(08:45) We are giving away coffee to our loyal listeners through a review giveaway
(09:25) When we’re in a heated situation, your downstairs brain takes over
(13:35) A negative habit, a bad habit, you have to replace it with something positive
(16:36) What are some of our scripted responses to our kids?
(22:49) Using positive scripting responses can help diffuse tense situations with your kids
(24:51) You likely already script your responses for a lot of stressful situations
🔑 Episode Keywords
Scripting, Parenting, Responses, Emotional Regulation, Conflict Resolution, Communication Skills, Family Relationships, Stress Management, Self-Control, Mindfulness, Empathy, Active Listening, Growth Mindset, Boundaries, Respect, Connection, Understanding, Patience, Compassion, Problem-Solving
🗣️ Quotes from Will: “When stressed or emotional, the brain’s logical thinking is offline”
#connectedparenting #tbri #parenting #thisisfostercare #foster #fostercare #dad #fatherhood #mentor #adoption #adopt #makingroomforadoption #connectionfirstparent #connectionfirstparenting #connectedparentingminute #kids #teaching #teens #podcast #listenable #success #failure #tweens #preteens #intentionalparent #intentionalparenting #coffee #giveaway #decide #listenable
Transcript
Script Your Way to Calm Parenting
Connected Parenting Minute is a conversation about parenting using connection first trauma informed principles
Will: When we script our responses, we don’t. Rely on our emotions to make a good decision in the heat of the moment.
Intro/Outro: You’re listening to the Connected Parenting Minute with Will and CarrieAnn Standfest. This podcast is a conversation about parenting using connection first trauma informed principles. Because when you lead with connection, everyone feels seen, which is the foundation to a more peaceful, home. This podcast reminds you that you don’t have to be a perfect parent, but we can all get a little better one connected Parenting Minute at a time.
Will: Hello, and welcome back to the podcast. My name is Will Standfest, and I am so glad that you are joining us here tonight. With me, as always, is the lovely CarrieAnn Ann Standfest.
CarrieAnn: Hello.
Will: So I am, super thrilled to be talking to you tonight, babe. I always love sitting down to record and having these conversations.
CarrieAnn: Yeah, me too. It’s a lot of fun.
Tonight we discuss the concept of scripting your response in parenting
Will: So tonight we wanted to talk about this concept called, Scripting Your Response. We’ve alluded to it before we’ve mentioned it a few times, so we thought it would be a good time to kind of sit down and really unpack this and help our listeners understand what we mean by scripting our response, what it looks like, how it’s used. We think it’s a really helpful tool in our parenting, so we wanted to share it with you guys.
Will: So, CarrieAnn Ann, will you please tell us what is scripting your response?
CarrieAnn: I’m so glad you asked, Will. This has been one of my favorite things to talk about in parenting, and so I’ve got a great story that illustrates this.
Will: Oh, yes.
CarrieAnn: We’ve been doing this for a really long time, not necessarily with our kids, which is the funny part.
Will: Yeah, right.
CarrieAnn: I think a lot of this started, actually when what? we had four kids, and when you have three kids, it’s kind of like, oh, that’s sweet. And then when you have four kids, you’re like, all right, you’re done now. Right?
Will: Right.
CarrieAnn: There’s a response.
Will: They’re like, you know where those come from, right?
CarrieAnn: Exactly.
Will: That you’re done.
Will: Right.
CarrieAnn: Comments. They start getting to be a little much. Well, when we were pregnant with our fifth child, let me tell you, those are fun comments.
Will: And by fun, she means, not fun.
CarrieAnn: Yes, I mean not fun. So we had to come up with something, because every time we would go to the store and I started counting these, at one point, we would get comments. are they all yours? Do you run a daycare?
Will: Well, just what I said.
Will: Do you know how that happens?
CarrieAnn: Exactly. So, I mean, that I probably got a little bit less, thankfully, but I would get them multiple times at the same store.
Will: Yeah, one visit to Target or wherever you were shopping at the time.
CarrieAnn: Exactly. And it was starting to get a little frustrating because I was like, I can’t respond based on how I’m feeling right now, because at this point, I’m getting a little upset because you’re feeling.
Will: Attacked, you’re feeling judged, like all these.
CarrieAnn: Things, especially when kids aren’t behaving like.
Will: What are you saying?
Will: That our children aren’t perfect angels at Target every single time?
CarrieAnn: There’s a reason I developed a thing called the cart, which was how I organized all the children. Because at this point, I’m still taking everybody with me everywhere. Anyway, so we decided we had to come up with a response together. So we brainstormed a little bit and finally we decided on the casual. Well, it’s only five.
Will: Yeah. As in, are, they all your kids?
CarrieAnn: It’s only five, with just that tone and that mentality and stuff like that. And it almost was kind of like, okay, so, yeah, it’s only five. What are you talking about?
Will: This is piece of cake.
CarrieAnn: And one time we had our oldest kid ask me, mom, why do you say that? And I had a moment of honesty and I was like, Buddy, because sometimes, those questions make me want to punch somebody in the face. And so that’s my kind reaction. I am predetermining how I’m going to react in that situation. And so that’s my response. At this point, we’re like, well, it’s only eight. Sometimes I’m like, maybe we need to change that scripted response because saying it’s.
Will: Only eight doesn’t seem honest anymore.
CarrieAnn: Because eight, I mean, that’s a fair number.
Will: It’s a couple it’s a couple, it’s a few medium sized family.
Will: Right.
CarrieAnn: Anyway, but that was kind of one of our first responses.
Will: That’s kind of the origin of it for us.
Will: Right? Yeah.
Will: And so what I heard you say.
Will: There is, M, that you had this.
Will: Repeated stressful situation that was frustrating you, overwhelming, kind of whatever, but it was a repeated situation where you felt like you weren’t reacting kindly or you weren’t reacting the way you wanted to Or you were afraid you’re going to.
CarrieAnn: Say something you’d regret later, especially in a stressful moment. If I was feeling stressed from totally non related things.
Will: Yeah, that’s another good point. So Scripting, your response is you’re trying.
Will: To find a way to respond in a heated moment that you can be proud of later.
CarrieAnn: Exactly.
Will: Right.
CarrieAnn: that’s a really good definition of it.
Will: Yeah.
Will: In the situation we just talked about, you’re trying to respond playfully and kindly.
Will: To comments that probably weren’t intended to be hurtful, but some of them can.
Will: Come across as kind of hurtful or judgy.
CarrieAnn: Yeah, no, definitely.
Will: And so in the midst of that.
Will: I just felt hurt by what they said. You want to say something kind and playful in response.
CarrieAnn: Exactly.
Will: And so it’s the same thing with our kids, m. Right.
Will: I think we’re not alone in this.
Will: That, we as parents actually have.
Will: Some of these situations that happen over.
Will: And over with different kids where we get upset or frustrated, maybe every once in a while happens.
Will: And it’s really easy for us as parents to go back to this place.
Will: Of saying things we’re not proud of.
Will: Later we say something we kind of regret.
Will: So point number one is that you.
Will: Likely already use this tool.
CarrieAnn: What?
When we script our response, it helps us in stressful situations
Will: Yes. A lot of us have things we.
Will: Say, especially in the heat of the moment, that our parents used to say.
CarrieAnn: OOH, that’s a good way to look at it.
Will: A lot of times under stress, we.
Will: Will go back and parent the way.
Will: That our parents did. And we had good parents.
Will: I love my parents. I know that you love your parents, but they didn’t always handle situations the way that we want to handle.
Will: Them going forward because we have different.
Will: Kids than they do. And so our kids need different things.
Will: Than we needed as children, mhm?
Will: And so in those moments where we find ourselves reacting in ways that we’re not proud of, you and I have.
Will: Used this tool, scripting our responses to try to have a positive, playful, kind.
Will: Reaction in a stressful situation.
CarrieAnn: And I think that it really does. When we script our response, it helps us in that moment. I mean, that’s going to be jumping into point number two.
Using this tool can be a helpful parenting tool. Naming it and saying, this can be
But some of the things that I wanted to talk about here was when we already use this tool, we do it on a regular basis.
Will: Yeah, that’s a good point.
Will: What are some other examples you had thought up?
CarrieAnn: So the first thing that I thought of here is actually a, common response is no, actually, I do not want to hear about my car’s extended warranty.
Will: Right.
CarrieAnn: You get that? But there’s also or is a scripted.
Will: Response there just to hang up?
CarrieAnn: I don’t know. There is that one too. I mean, that’s my go to. I was trying to be a little kind, but, not admit that in the public eye. But, there’s many things that we say without much thought because we’ve already decided what we do or do not want. Right. When we’re walking past the kiosk person in the mall, which is one of my personal pet peeves, I always get angry when they’re coming to try to sell me something. I’m like, I don’t want your stuff. I’ve got kids. Do you see? I have kids. Don’t bother me. But the polite scripted response would be like, no thank you, and walk away. But we do that right? There’s certain situations that we already know what we’re going to say and there’s not a lot of emotion to it.
Will: Do you want fries with that? Well, I think about got to get.
CarrieAnn: Our kids to work at Chickfila. Say my pleasure all the time.
Will: There you go.
CarrieAnn: But there’s just things that we choose to say and we don’t think about it. And so those are the things that we already do we already utilize this tool?
Will: Yeah, it’s a tool a lot of people use that they don’t even realize it. And this is just kind of like.
Will: Naming it and saying, this can be.
Will: A helpful parenting tool. So let’s find ways to apply it to our parenting situations.
We are giving away coffee to our loyal listeners through a review giveaway
Before we jump into point number two, we’re going to stop for a quick word from the sponsor of today’s episode.
CarrieAnn: Hey, Will, you know what makes me an even better parent than just listening to our podcast?
Will: What’s that, CarrieAnn Ann?
CarrieAnn: Coffee.
Will: Oh, absolutely. You are so right. And our listeners are in luck because we are doing a review giveaway. We’re giving away coffee to you, the loyal listener. All you have to do to enter is leave a review of our podcast on whatever platform you’re listening to, take a screenshot of that review and send it to us at ah. Connectedparentingminute@gmail.com.
CarrieAnn: On December 15, we’ll pick five lucky winners to receive a Starbucks gift card worth coffee and maybe a little snack.
When we’re in a heated situation, your downstairs brain takes over
Will: Enter today. And now back to the podcast.
Will: Okay, point number two is that when we script our responses, we don’t rely on our emotions to make a good.
Will: Decision in the heat of the moment.
CarrieAnn: OOH, I really like that. I mean, it’s so true. we have to think when we’re having those interactions with our kids, when we’re having those moments where they are clearly not being completely honest with us, or they clearly are being defiant or there’s these things, it really can trigger us. Right. Especially your specific triggers. And I might have a lot of them.
Will: Yeah, well, for guys that can be disrespect or lying, that can be a really big it’s a trigger for me. And I know a lot of other.
CarrieAnn: Guys, too, and moms, too.
Will: Okay.
CarrieAnn: But I mean, when you are interacting with your kid, you know the things that kind of set you off. Right. And a lot of times your kid also knows them. Yeah, that’s true, whether or not they admit to that or not. But we have those situations, and we know when we’re heated in that moment, it is very hard to think rationally and to make good things come out of our mouths.
Will: Yeah. Well, even here, if we go back.
Will: To our hand model, of the brain if you’ve never seen this, I’m going to try to verbally explain it to you.
Will: But if you make a fist with.
Will: Your hand and then close the instead of closing your thumb outside of your fist, you kind of wrap your fingers around your thumb as you’re making that fist.
Will: This is considered a very basic, handy.
Will: Model of the brain. Your fingers on top, kind of your upstairs brain, where your prefrontal cortex, your logic and reasoning, your verbal communication skills reside.
Will: And then if you open up your.
Will: Fingers, your thumb there is kind of.
Will: The survival brain, the anger, the fight.
Will: Flight or freeze or fawn. We talked about this on some other episodes.
Will: But literally when you are in a heated situation, this is in, connected not connected child. Whole brain child.
CarrieAnn: There we go.
Will: They discuss this, talking about how.
Will: It’S called flipping your lid, where if you flip your fingers up and your.
Will: Thumb is there, it’s like your downstairs.
Will: Brain kind of takes over.
Will: And this is like chemically, physiologically. This is like science. They can prove it’s. Just trying to explain it in a.
Will: Way that the average parent can understand.
Will: A little bit of the complexity of the brain.
Will: But the point being is that when.
Will: You are in a stressful heated situation, your downstairs brain, your survival brain, takes over.
Will: Mhm?
Will: And you literally can’t you have to have a very well developed prefrontal cortex.
CarrieAnn: Like an adult, which doesn’t happen to your 25 25 25.
Will: So your teenager does not make logical decisions because they physically don’t have a fully developed brain.
Will: Love you, teenagers. It’s all good. It’s all good.
Will: It’s not your fault.
CarrieAnn: It’s science.
Will: It is science. Yeah.
Will: All this to say is like, that.
Will: Happens to us too.
Will: When we’re heated, when we’re stressed out, when we’re overwhelmed, our downstairs brain takes.
Will: Over and we can’t logically, kindly think.
Will: Through these things and come up with the words. Have you ever had that feeling like you’re in a huge situation?
Will: Like I can’t say the words,
Will: That’S your prefrontal cortex saying, I’m not in control right now.
Will: Downstairs brain is. You need to calm down.
CarrieAnn: Right. One of my personal stories that I tend to go back to when I’m thinking about this is when there’s a situation going on and I’m talking and I know I’m like sitting there, the words are coming out of my mouth and my inside brain is going, shut.
Will: Up, shut up, shut up.
CarrieAnn: Just stop talking. Stop talking. And I can’t. I just keep talking. And so it’s really, really hard in those moments, even if you were the best parent, to keep it together.
Will: Yeah.
CarrieAnn: And so I really think that it’s important. And we have a lot of work to do in this area still. We do.
A negative habit, a bad habit, you have to replace it with something positive
But one of the things that I was thinking about recently is that if we want to take that piece out, like try to not do those things, we have to replace it with something else. We have to give our brain something to go to, to fill that space. Because just not doing it is probably not going to work.
Will: I mean, that’s a principle of addiction recovery and all these other things.
Will: When you’re trying to break a habit.
Will: A negative habit, a bad habit, you have to replace it with something positive. You can’t just try harder to not do it.
Will: That doesn’t work.
Will: That’s not how our brains function. That’s not how we learn new habits or positive things in our lives. We learn and we change we pivot by having something positive to work towards.
Will: And so this is just us doing.
Will: That with our parenting responses, is we’re choosing that this is the positive thing we want to say. And so we are going to practice that positive thing. Are we ready to jump into point number three?
CarrieAnn: I think we absolutely can jump into point number three because we want to.
Will: Practice that positive thing.
Will: Because point number three is you get good at what you practice. OOH, you get good at what you practice, right?
Will: And so if you want to get good at connected parenting, if you want.
Will: To get good at a kind response.
Will: When you’re really frustrated with your kid.
Will: If you want to get good at.
Will: Not overreacting when your child tells you.
Will: Something absurd that they’ve done, whether it’s true or not, you have to practice that. and so getting in kind of.
Will: Like the brass tax, the practical part.
Will: Of scripting a response, practically speaking, what you and I have done is we’ll have an interaction with our kid and you and I tend to take time.
Will: Like, we’ll go back to our room.
Will: At various points or at the end of the day and kind of talk.
Will: Through things that have happened in the day. I think a lot of parents do that. It will be like, I’ll be like, man, that interaction with m my son.
Will: Did not go well.
Will: Like, I said that thing again.
Will: I’m so frustrated and you and I.
Will: Will kind of brainstorm.
Will: We’ll literally say, okay, what do I.
Will: Want to say in that moment? how do I want to respond.
Will: When he lies to me? How do I want to respond when.
Will: She’S struggling to get ready for school?
Will: How do I want to respond when he hits somebody?
CarrieAnn: Right?
Will: It’s those situations where you’re just like, outside the moment, we’re calm. It’s not happening right now.
Will: You, and I, we know that we’re trying to build each other up. We’re trying to help each other be better parents.
Will: we come up with a response.
Will: And we practice it a few times. Like, I’ll actually kind of say it, either say it physically, say it out loud, which even helps, because then again, memorization, you’re tying in all these different senses.
Will: you’re saying it, you’re hearing it, all the things and then as I feel that situation coming, I’ll actually.
Will: Say it in the back of my.
Will: Head, like, to myself, I’m going to.
Will: Say that response like, okay. And then hopefully when the moment comes.
CarrieAnn: That will be what comes out.
Will: That’s what comes out of it.
What are some of our scripted responses to our kids? Yeah
CarrieAnn: The other thing we were talking about, well, what are some of our scripted responses?
Will: Yeah, let’s go through some practical examples.
CarrieAnn: Well, I was thinking about this just as you were talking and one of the ones that I think we talked about in an earlier episode, but it really came to me is it’s not about me. So when we’re talking to our teens especially, and something’s going haywire, or it’s really easy to overreact to something they said because it feels disrespectful or whatever the situation is taking that it’s not about me over and over and over. That’s less of verbalization, but it’s telling ourselves that’s what I want my response to be is not assuming it’s about me to be able to mentally not take it personally.
Will: Yeah.
CarrieAnn: And that’s actually helped in everyday relationships too.
Will: Oh, absolutely.
CarrieAnn: So that’s kind of the fun part of this, is that when we’re starting to choose how to practice reacting to our kids in a better light, it kind of creeps over into some of our other relationships. one of the other ones that I can think of is like this mentality of say more about that. I mean, it really, for me has become this all right, you just told me that really, really tough thing or something. Maybe I’m not sure where this is going, but it almost kind of slows my brain down just to say, let’s just sink into this a little bit. I kind of almost say it with a sigh and kind of relax my body, my jaw, and different really just sinking into that because I’m genuinely curious instead of jumping to conclusions or assuming I know what they’re talking about. And I’ve found myself doing that with other adults as well. They’ll say something and be like, say more about know. And it’s almost just like a mental pause in my brain. And I’ve already associated that because I’ve practiced it with my kids.
Will: Because you get good at what you practice.
CarrieAnn: Exactly. We’re just going to keep saying that because that’s fun.
Will: Also, that’s partially credit to John Acuff, not a sponsor.
Will: Feel free to slide in the DMs if you want to know.
Will: We’ll work something out.
CarrieAnn: Oh, my goodness.
Will: But, that’s a soundtrack thing. Like, we’ve talked about this these repeated thoughts, and this is just applying it in a different way in a different situation. And so what are some of the.
Will: Other let’s run through a few more.
Will: Of the scripted responses we’ve used. Again, trying to give people some real.
Will: Practical applications of this.
CarrieAnn: Right. So one of the other ones has been just kind of like having your names for your kids. One of my favorite ones is for one of our little more challenging kids. It’s like, hey, buddy. when something’s going haywire, like he’s having a meltdown, I’ll be like, hey, buddy. And for me, that is a term of endearment for him. I’ve almost done it so many times where I know what that means for me. That means I’m getting low. I’m being ultra calm. I’m trying to engage him. And I know even then he’s going to probably still blow up or be upset or whatever. But it’s almost mentally preparing me of like, this is my I’m just going to let you kind of have your thing. Maybe he yelled at me. And through these experiences, I’ve learned that we have this big blow up or whatever. And then typically, he comes back and he’ll talk about it because, for him, one of the things is just he overreacts and then he kind of pulls it back. But even for some of our other kids, hey, baby. Choosing to use those terms of endearment when you know the situation is going to be difficult has been very helpful in that sense where we’re intentionally giving good names to our kids rather than it’s kind of hard to say, hey, buddy, and be really mad and frustrated.
Will: With them, whereas it’s easy to rattle off somebody’s first and middle name.
CarrieAnn: Middle name.
Will: They know you’re serious.
Will: Right.
Will: No, that’s good. That’s really good.
Will: Is helping yourself approach that situation with kindness. Because, again, a lot of this is about changing our approach.
Will: We can’t control our children. All we can control is our response and our approach.
Will: The whole thing we talked about in.
Will: A previous episode is like, how do.
Will: We define success as a parent? It’s how we respond in those situations. Right.
Will: And in stressful situations is a big one.
Will: Right.
CarrieAnn: Well, and you had a couple of good ones that you taught the kids kind of early on.
Will: Oh, yeah. And so, we’ve had several kids that struggled, but we had one kid.
Will: Who struggled being kind of explosively, angry, m. And sometimes he would hit, sometimes.
Will: He would just run around and rage and things like that. And one of the phrases that we.
Will: Use with him, that I used with.
Will: Him is we use our strength to.
Will: Help people, not to hurt people.
Will: Because, again, I didn’t want him to.
Will: Feel like him being a boy was a bad thing or having big emotions or being strong was a bad thing.
Will: I wanted him to redirect that strength towards helping
Will: And that has become a, thing for him.
Will: He was one of our most helpful.
Will: Children at this stage in his life.
CarrieAnn: Absolutely. And I think that even now sometimes, how I tell people that are interacting with him like he was in a co op class last year, and I’d be like, if he’s struggling, give him a job. Ask him for his help in something, and he is instantly ready to jump into that, and it would just change his whole demeanor. But I really feel like a lot of that was due to that kind of soundtrack that you gave him.
Will: Oh, yeah.
Will: I said that so many times to him.
Will: Yeah. So another one, like, when kids are playing games and they get really upset that they lose.
Will: And we’re trying to teach good winning and good losing.
Will: Not being a sore loser, but not.
Will: Being a sore winner, too, because it’s.
Will: Hilarious now because I have a teenager and we trash talk each other a lot when we’re playing video games or whatever, when they’re younger and you’re trying to teach these positive things. the one we used for the Sore winners was, hey, good game, maybe.
Will: Next time you’re going to win.
Using positive scripting responses can help diffuse tense situations with your kids
Will: but to say that in like a genuine thing, like, hey, you played.
Will: Really good this time, and kind of.
Will: Like almost like, I just barely beat you, you might win next time. And M, you’d be surprised how many times, like a little will be like, maybe I would win next time. We should play again. And it was a positive soundtrack to help the Sore winners, not dunk on.
Will: Their siblings when they were right.
CarrieAnn: And now we’ve cultivated a, board game family, so to speak. I mean, that you take over, ah, it’s happy play.
Will: But see, I enjoy new things.
CarrieAnn: You’re right.
Will: I love new games and you don’t, and that’s fine.
CarrieAnn: But our kids really enjoy that too. But I think that is through a cultivation of making sure that kids feel included and there’s a whole list, but that also helps of, hey, good game, maybe next time you’ll win.
Will: And they don’t repeat that word for.
Will: Word every time now. Right.
Will: But there’s also that kind of our kids recognize that that’s important. And so when somebody loses and they’re really disappointed, our kids tend to be like, hey, you made a really good play here. That was really cool. I was excited about that, or I.
Will: Was impressed that you did this.
Will: They kind of build each other up a little bit.
Will: Right.
CarrieAnn: So these are some of the scripting responses that we could think of, off the top of our head. But this is something we are ultimately working on even right now in our family because there’s a lot of contentious situations that keep happening over and over again. So we’re working on those. So if you think of a scripting response that you like, that you go to, that you want to try using, you should definitely let us know.
Will: Absolutely. That would actually be kind of fun.
Will: I’d love to share some of these with other listeners. Things that you’ve used in the past.
Will: With your kids in stressful situations that have kind of diffused those situations or helped you respond positively. Because again, I think a lot of people use this. They just don’t have a term for it or they don’t know how to.
Will: Name it and kind of identify it and practice that. Right.
Will: I think we’re out of time.
You likely already script your responses for a lot of stressful situations
So let’s run back through our, three big points for the episode and.
Will: we’ll get out of here.
CarrieAnn: Yeah. So our first point of the night is you likely already script your responses for a lot of different things and don’t even realize it.
Will: Yeah. Whether that’s positive that you just kind.
Will: Of get out of stressful situations quickly, or whether it’s negative when you repeat.
Will: Things you heard when you’re growing up. It’s something that you use already and.
CarrieAnn: So being aware of it can help us in choosing what those responses are.
Will: Yes, exactly.
Will: Point number two. when we script our responses, it. Helps us not rely on our emotions. In the middle of a heated moment. Because again, going back to that brain model, when you’re excited, when you’re frustrated, when you’re stressed out, your emotions literally are in control. Your prefrontal cortex, your logical thinking and verbalization is not online at that point. Take that out of the situation and just repeat something that you kind of memorized.
CarrieAnn: Absolutely. And our, last point is you get good at what you practice.
Will: You get good at what you practice. So practice the things you want to be good at. Because children do what feels good, adults devise a plan and follow it. Yeah. Anyways, that’s what we’ve got for you tonight. It is a super helpful tool for us in our parenting journey and I hope that it is helpful to you again. If you’ve got some scripts that you’ve used with your children in stressful situation and you’re willing to share them, send us an email either using Connectedparentingminute@gmail.com or you can send us a message on Facebook or Instagram or on both those platforms. We would love to share some of those responses with our audience, either in a future episode or maybe we’ll just make a poll or put something on the social media. So make sure you’re following us there so you can continue the conversation and connect with other parents on the same journey. And before we go, we want to.
CarrieAnn: Remind you you don’t have to be a perfect parent, but we can all.
Will: Get a little bit better one Connected Parenting Minute at a time.
Outro1: Thank you so much for listening to my Mom and Dad’s podcast. I hope you feel really inspired today. And remember to subscribe for the next episode.
Intro/Outro: For more parenting tips or to connect with us, check out the Connected Parenting Minute on YouTube, Instagram and Facebook. Or you can send us an email using.
The Connected Parenting Minute 